“Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love ’em!”.
Said the charming and cynical Ryan (George Clooney) about airport security checks in the movie “Up in the Air“.
Like Ryan, anyone and everyone that has traveled is sure to have their own anecdotes and tips, whether they are based on a funny, absurd, or just plain annoying experience.
Neighbors who invade your personal bubble, loudmouths and screaming children are just a few of the 15 types of fliers you can find 30,000 feet up in the air.
When it comes to flying, patience and self-control are virtues that are put to the test.
If you want to avoid being considered one of the annoying ones aboard a flight, here are a few rules to follow, appropriately illustrated thanks to Passenger Shaming…
1. The Line
Relax, the plane won’t take off until everyone has boarded so there’s no need to push and shove as if it were a Black Friday sale.
Learning to stand in a line is something we learn as a child, so why is it so hard to follow on a plane?
2. The Aisle
When you’ve found the spot where you’ve been assigned your seat, pop your bag into the overhead bins and take a seat. Don’t stand in the aisle searching through your cabin luggage for your snacks, glasses, book, and whatever else you may need during the flight.
Once the plane takes off and the fasten seatbelts sign is no longer alight you’ll have plenty of time to dig through your bag looking for that emergency candy you packed.
3. The Bathroom
If you’re a compulsive bathroom visitor or just feel the need to stretch your legs every 3.5 minutes, choose an aisle seat!
If you didn’t get to choose your seat and you’re stuck with the middle or window seat and find your neighbor asleep, try a gentle tap on the shoulder instead of silently testing your hurdling skills. No one wants to wake up with a stranger crawling over them.
And when you do finally make it to the bathroom, please don’t leave it like this…
Why leave the bathroom squeaky clean? Because some passengers go by the rule that mi casa es su casa or they’re following in the footsteps (pun intended) of the barefooted monks of St. Augustine.
4. The Seat
If the seat reclines there’s a reason right? Just make sure you look out for the passenger behind you before you kick back and relax.
No one wants to get into the predicament of finding the glass of wine that was on their tray table ending up on their lap. Another seat no-no? Digging your knees into or kicking the seat in front of you.
Please also keep your feet off the seat in front of you. There’s a reason no one sells foot-scented shampoo.
And it may technically be your assigned seat, but the passenger behind you may need a few of its ammenities at times so try storing your cardigan elsewhere…
Oh and we almost forgot, also try to store your hair elsewhere.
There’s not much you can do when you’re stuck in the middle seat, but remember that the unwritten Universal Declaration of Fliers Rights states that every passenger has the right to at least one armrest.
If you’re traveling with children, remember an airplane isn’t your living room or an amusement park.
Fellow passengers need to understand that children also have the right to fly, but parents also need to realize that they can’t be oblivious to everyone and everything.
Long-haul flights are the perfect time to take a little snooze. But please try to sleep in the most respectful way possible.
8. Food & Drink
Free food and drink may be hard to come by these days on flights, but if you do happen to find yourself on a flight with free-flowing miniature wine bottles, drink responsibly.
And if you did get food, or smuggled your own in, for the sake of all the flight attendants and airplane cleaning crews out there… Don’t make a mess!
Have you ever spotted fellow passengers partaking in onboard activities worthy of shaming? Let us know about it below in the comments!